Living a Charmed Life

On the 4th of July, as we sat on a blanket on our front lawn and watched the fireworks explode directly overhead I looked at my two girls and thought about how lucky they are.  They are living a charmed life - a life of experiences and privileges that I can't imagine having enjoyed at their young age.    I always loved to see the fireworks, but we either had to go downtown long before the sky began to darken or accept a more distant view that still filled me with awe.    I remember one year when we did experience the explosion of lights directly overhead.  I was thrilled, amazed, and more than a little afraid, sure that the sparks would fall before the fire was out.  My girls have no such fear since that is what they're used to.

Just this past weekend Doc and I took the girls to the local amusement park.  A short boat or car ride away, that was our fourth visit this summer.   With season passes (that Doc's parents get us each year for Christmas), we are able to go whenever the mood strikes.  Whether it is hot, cold, or just right.  Whether we have a few hours or all day.  Whether the sky is cloudy, rainy or sunny.  No matter the reason, if we want to go, we can.   As a child I remember taking two trips to this same amusement park.  Not two trips each year, but two trips over the course of 18 years (though we lived much further away).  Each trip was special, fun, and has its own unique memories.  I don't know if my girls will have the same types of memories from their trips.

Each week during the summer the girls and I meet a friend and her daughter to travel to a nearby island.  We take a ferry over, eat lunch, and attend a mini nature camp program.  The girls are able to dissect fish, hold snakes, feed frogs, see and learn about bald eagles, owls, bats, plants and more.   How lucky are they to be able to learn about our local flora and fauna in such a hands-on setting?   Do they have any idea that there are some people that have never seen a bald eagle at all, much less from 5 feet away?  

While I LOVE that my children are able to experience all these wonderful activities, I also worry.  Am I setting them up for disappointment in the future?   Or is each generation just different?  I don't feel as if I was deprived of anything as a child even though my experiences were so different than those of my children.  I grew up in a city.  We had theaters, malls, roller rinks, bowling alleys, sidewalks where we could ride our bikes, and the opportunity to take any type of lesson we might want.  My children are growing up in a "vacation community" with unique shops, beaches, amusement parks, water parks, lakes, boats, and open space.  When my girls grow up and have their own children will they live in the city?  Will they worry that they are spoiling their children by taking them to the museum, theater, concerts, performances, and five star restaurants? 

Though Peanut and Pumpkin might not realize exactly how good their lives are, I think they are appreciative.  They always thank us for taking them to the amusement park.  They told us how much they loved the fireworks.  They get excited each week for our island trip.   Whether you're living a city life, a country life, a vacation life, or something else, the important thing is that you appreciate what you do have.  No matter how much you have or where you are, I think everyone has the potential to live a charmed life.

What do you want for Christmas?

"What do you want for Christmas?"

I might be completely alone in this, but it drives me crazy when people ask my kiddos what they want for Christmas, their birthday, or any other holiday or event.  Honestly, I think it drives other people crazy when my kids don't have an answer.   We don't ask the girls what they want as far as gifts are concerned.  We simply pay attention to things they do and say throughout the year.  We watch which section of toys they are drawn to when we are shopping for others.  (Though admittedly this might become more difficult as they get older.)  My reasons for this are two-fold.  First, I don't want them to think that holidays are all about the presents.  Second, I don't want them to be disappointed.

We live fairly far away from most of our family and friends.  The holidays  are pretty much the only time we have the opportunity to visit with great-grandparents and other extended family.   In addition, our extended family is rather large.  My dad is the oldest of 12 children.  All of whom are married and have kids.  Many of those kids are also married with kids.  This means that there are close to 100 people at the family Christmas party.  Grandma gets everyone a small present, but generally few other gifts are exchanged.  The holidays are simply a time to reconnect with those that have helped us to become what we are today.  They are an opportunity to learn what is going on in the lives of others.  The holidays are a time for relaxation, joy, connection, history, and tradition.

I have an amazing family.  My parents were always (and still are) kind, generous, thoughtful and fun.  I have some great memories from the holidays.  I remember our traditional night out at our favorite Mexican restaurant followed by a drive around looking at Christmas lights while carols played in the car.  I remember going with my dad to pick out the perfect Christmas tree at the farm.  I remember hanging lights with dad and baking and decorating cookies with mom and my sister.   I remember going to Christmas mass together.  I remember the feeling of being safe, secure and loved.  Do you know what I don't remember?  I don't remember a single specific present that I received.   However, I do remember something else.  I remember the feeling of disappointment with my gifts.  It wasn't that I didn't get what I wanted.  I did.  I got what was on my list.  I think with all the magic of the holidays though, I was expecting more.  I was expecting surprises.  I was expecting a perfect something that I hadn't even known I wanted.  I don't think I'm a greedy person.  I don't think that I was ever ungrateful or unappreciative.  It is just that the listed items weren't as exciting or glamorous as they looked on TV.  There wasn't any magic in the "things" I received.

Just the other day I had to rethink my stance on this issue when Peanut came home from school in tears.  They are apparently working on letter writing in school.  She said that she had to write a letter to Santa asking for at least two or three things.   She didn't know what to do since she doesn't make a list for Santa.  "What do I ask for?  I don't make a list, I like surprises." was mumbled through her tears.  (Whether she really likes surprises, or I have just ingrained that into the girls is an entirely different post.)  We talked through it and she did come up with a couple of small items she could write about.  It seemed to appease her for the moment.   After our conversation, I did decide to stick to my guns . . . for a while.  For me, the magic was never in the gifts.  It was always in the experiences.  Hopefully, by focusing on the experiences rather than the gifts we can keep the magic of Christmas alive for just a bit longer.