Do you ever feel like a fraud?

Last night I was doing homework with Peanut, when I suddenly thought, "I'm not qualified to do this.  How did I become a parent?  How do I know if I'm doing any of this right?"

Keep in mind that Peanut is 6.  Her homework consists of reading a story to me, practicing her sight words, vocabulary words and spelling words.  This stuff isn't rocket science . . . and I wasn't really thinking about this specific homework, but rather life in general.  Am I too hard on the girls?  Am I too easy on them?  When I correct her for saying "the" instead of "a" while reading, am I helping her or making her self-conscious of all the little things instead of focusing on the big picture?  (She obviously knows the difference and never confuses the words when viewed on flashcards, just in stories where either word will work just fine.)  Am I doing anything right?  If so, what?  What am I doing wrong?  How do I know?  How do I fix my mistakes?  How can I be a better mom?

Right now, since I'm not working outside the home, being a mom is all that I do.  It is disheartening to think that I might be failing at the only job I have - the most important job I'll ever have.  Does anyone else ever feel the same?

Where or where has my time gone?

• "What are you going to do with all your free time now that the kids are back in school?"
• "I'll bet you'll get bored within the first two weeks of school."
• "Are you going to start looking for a job now that the kids are both in school?"

Those are the types of questions I've heard over the summer. In fact, I think I've heard them so often that I actually believed that I would have an immaculate house and mountains of free time that I wouldn't know what to do with.

The fact is, Peanut is in first grade. She goes to school every day from 8ish to 3ish. Pumpkin is in preschool. She goes to school every day from 12:30 to 3ish. So, here is what my day looks like:

1. Wake up and make sure the monkeys are up.
2. Check the weather.
3. Help them get dressed, brush hair, etc.
4. Get breakfast.
5. Pack lunches, snacks, extra clothes, etc.
6. Drive Peanut to school.
7. Return home.
8. Start household chores.
9. Exercise.
10. Get cleaned up.
11. Play with Pumpkin.
12. Feed Pumpkin lunch.
13. Take Pumpkin to school.
14. Finish what I started in the morning, check email, run errands.
15. Pick the kids up.
16. Do homework.
17. Make dinner.
18. Clean up from dinner.
19. Get the kids ready for bed.
20. Finish my work and go to bed.

Hmmmm . . . something is missing.   Ahhh, I see now.  It is my free time.  I never knew I was so horrible at time management, but I must be doing something wrong.   I know, maybe I'm just a year early.  Next year, when they're both in school full days, then I'll have free time, right?