Our Thanksgiving . . .

I am far from a perfect mother, but when my kids are home from school, I really do try  my best to give them some attention.  We play games together (but not pretend ones, because I'm really bad at those).  Sometimes we'll watch a movie together.  We'll even cook and clean together.  Over the holidays you will see periods of absence on my blog.   Those are times when I am traveling, visiting with family and friends, or playing with my kiddos.  While I do enjoy blogging, I enjoy living my life with my family even more.  As you know, I'm not a review blogger.  I do post reviews and giveaways when they come my way and I think they are something you might like, but I do not answer to anyone on this blog.  It is mine.  I post what I want, when I want.  Thanksgiving happened to be a time when I didn't want to take the time away from my kids to post.  We were having too much of an amazing weekend.  Here are a few highlights:

My kids didn't have school on Wednesday, but Doc did have to work.  Peanut, Pumpkin and I thought that would be a perfect opportunity to go Christmas shopping for Doc.  Originally, they wanted to get him a dog, but eventually decided that maybe he wouldn't appreciate that gift.   (I don't know if I've mentioned it in the past, but Doc is very anti-pet . . . it goes along with his neat freakishness)  Eventually, each girl was able to find something that he needed in a style that reflects their own personalities.   I think he'll get a chuckle out of what they finally selected

On Thanksgiving, we went for a nice family walk followed by lunch at that fancy schmancy restaurant I was telling you about.  After lunch we went to see Tangled (Thanks MyBlogSpark and General Mills).   Doc had never been to a movie with the girls, so it was definitely a fun experience.  He had never seen the kids snack pack before, and actually wanted one of his own.  :o)  Pumpkin is a girl that laughs out loud during movies.  I couldn't help but steal a glance and a smile at Doc each time she'd burst out laughing - too cute!  The only problem is that she is now having nightmares about the "mean girl" in the movie.  Ugh!  Have I sheltered them too much?

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were filled with Christmas preparations.  We decorated, baked, wrapped and even went to our local tree lighting ceremony.  We had such a great time!  I didn't even get upset when the kiddos spilled stuff all over the kitchen while helping bake cookies.  I don't think I can't count the number of times I said, "It is okay.  Baking cookies is messy." with a smile on my face and a broom, mop, rag, in my hands.   If I haven't mentioned it before, I am probably pretty low ranking when it comes to the list of moms with patience.  I'm also a bit of a control freak.  This weekend was so relaxing that I didn't even care that one of our teddy bear cookies had three heads while another looked more like an elephant.  I didn't make the kids decorate the cookies the way I would.  I didn't say a word (because I didn't mind) when they mixed the peppermint sprinkles with the chocolate chips, and nonpariels.   This was supposed to be a fun family weekend, and it was.  We might have just created a new Thanksgiving family tradition.

(Not even) Wordless Wednesday - Don't they grow up too fast already?

Auntie Em recently visited with the girls and gave them little goodie bags of stuff to take home.  One item in the bag was a set of  Disney stick on nails.  They are similar to these.  (My image isn't very clear, so I thought I'd give you a link too.)  While they are probably harmless, I just feel like the kids grow up too fast already.  I don't think they need nails and heels at such a young age.  What is your opinion?

*Note - I don't like nails and heels for the girls, so I don't buy them for them.  However, when others do, I do let them wear them.   I don't want them to seem "forbidden" and therefore more exciting.  I am more of a "everything in moderation" kind of gal.  

The Ego Boost

It is a good thing I'm not the jealous type. :o)

Recently, a new girl started working for the company my husband works for.  We'll call her Ginger.  While Doc has never seen Ginger, based on her correspondence to him I would guess that she is quite young - probably in her early 20s.   He often receives emails from her and loves to share them with me.  She is always bubbly, friendly, and often complimentary.  In fact, he recently received an email from her that said, "You are a very special and awesome guy.  I really mean it!"  To be fair, I can't remember the exact wording, but that is pretty much the gist of it. 

When he gets emails like this, he reads them to me with a big smile on his face.  "See, at least someone appreciates me" is a response I've heard more than once.  You know what?  He's right.  I don't always appreciate him as much as I should.  However, even when I do, I suspect he doesn't hear it.  I'm really no different.  He tells me I'm beautiful, but I feel plain.  He tells me I'm skinny, but I feel fat.  He tells me that I'm a good mom, but I feel guilty for something (yelling at the kids, not being better at playing pretend, or any of a plethora of other faults).   He tells me I'm smart, but I wonder how I used to function in a real job when I can't even figure out what it is I need to get from the store to make dinner. 

Why is it easier to hear and accept the compliments of strangers?  Why is it that we hear the criticisms clearly and shrug off the praises of those that we love (and love us)? Why do I think that Doc has an ulterior motive when he compliments me?  Why do I assume he "has to say that" when he tells me I'm beautiful?  What has happened to my confidence?  How do I make sure that my girls don't lose theirs as they grow up?  Right now they know that they are funny, smart, beautiful, kind, thoughtful, hard working, etc.  We tell them when they demonstrate those characteristics.  They hear us and they believe us.  What causes that to change?

In all sincerity, I don't begrudge Doc his compliments.  He is a "special and awesome guy".  If it takes hearing it from someone else to sink in just a bit and give him an ego boost, then so be it.   Here's my message to Ginger (and all others like her):

Thank you.  Thank you for your positive attitude and pleasant personality.  It is rare to encounter someone with such a sunny disposition.   Please continue to give well deserved compliments, whether for someone you know well or barely know at all.  We all need to hear that we're doing something right on occasion.  If you can make work more bearable or a day a little brighter for one person, then you have done something amazing.   Here's hoping that all those people that you have made smile will pay it forward to create a world that is brighter, happier, and better for us and all our children. 

Car Seat Safety - National Seat Check Saturday

This Saturday, September 25, is National Seat Check Saturday. It is a great opportunity for you to take your car to a car seat inspection station to make sure that your safety seats are installed correctly. You can go here to find a location near you.

Why should you find a seat check near you?

Each year, thousands of children are tragically injured and killed in automobile accidents. In fact, motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for children ages 3 and older.

The reason? Most parents and caregivers don't realize that their children aren't properly restrained in their car. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates that nearly 3 out of 4 car seats are not used correctly.

We're aiming to change that with National Seat Check Saturday on September 25. As part of Child Passenger Safety Week (September 19-25), communities nationwide will have certified technicians available to provide hands-on child safety seat inspections and advice - for free!

Another great resource to find information on car seats including recalls and instructional videos is http://childcarsafety.adcouncil.org/.  Please take a moment to check out your seats and keep your kids safe.

*Disclaimer - Information was provided by Global Influence.  By posting this information I am eligible to win a gift card.  However, I personally think that this is important enough that I would have posted it regardless.

Do you ever feel like a fraud?

Last night I was doing homework with Peanut, when I suddenly thought, "I'm not qualified to do this.  How did I become a parent?  How do I know if I'm doing any of this right?"

Keep in mind that Peanut is 6.  Her homework consists of reading a story to me, practicing her sight words, vocabulary words and spelling words.  This stuff isn't rocket science . . . and I wasn't really thinking about this specific homework, but rather life in general.  Am I too hard on the girls?  Am I too easy on them?  When I correct her for saying "the" instead of "a" while reading, am I helping her or making her self-conscious of all the little things instead of focusing on the big picture?  (She obviously knows the difference and never confuses the words when viewed on flashcards, just in stories where either word will work just fine.)  Am I doing anything right?  If so, what?  What am I doing wrong?  How do I know?  How do I fix my mistakes?  How can I be a better mom?

Right now, since I'm not working outside the home, being a mom is all that I do.  It is disheartening to think that I might be failing at the only job I have - the most important job I'll ever have.  Does anyone else ever feel the same?

Wordless Wednesday - The Dog Pleas Continue

Auntie Em brought her dog over this weekend and the girls just loved him!  I think he probably got more hugs during the brief time he was at our house than he has gotten his entire life.  If the requests for a dog were bad before, I can't imagine what it will be like now. 

Funny Friday - Dad's Life

A friend of mine shared this on Facebook and it was just too cute to not share with you.

The Great Tooth Debate

What is the value of a tooth?

Seriously . . . how much is a tooth worth?

This is a serious debate in our house.  "When I was a kid" we got a quarter for every tooth we lost.  According to the inflation calculator, what was worth a quarter in 1983 is now worth $0.55.  So, I would think that any teeth lost and placed under a pillow should earn approximately two quarters . . . maybe three if the tooth fairy is feeling generous, likes to round up, and can wrangle three quarters from the bottom of her overstuffed purse. Sounds fair, right?

However, upon talking to some other family and friends, the going rate seems to be between $1 and $5.  Some really generous fairies even give $10.  Seriously?  Ten Dollars for a tooth?  It isn't like losing a tooth is a difficult task.  Without any work at all they will eventually fall out, right?  I know that Peanut (and probably all children) wiggle and fiddle with them incessantly, but that isn't necessary for the end result.  Doesn't that seem a little high?

I want to teach my children the value of a dollar.  I want them to understand that you have to work hard to earn money...Money doesn't grow on trees...A penny saved is a penny earned...and other such famous sayings.  However, I don't want them to wonder why the tooth fairy likes their friends' teeth better than theirs.  Do you think kids compare how much they get under their pillows?

Right now, Peanut gets 6 quarters for each tooth lost.  We've decided on 6 since she is 6 years old.  If one day the tooth fairy can't find 6 quarters, she might get 6 dimes, nickels or pennies, but almost certainly not 6 dollars.  This tooth fairy just can't rationalize that kind of spending.

What is the value of a tooth in your house?

What We Have by Amy Boesky

To be completely honest, as I write this review, I have a headache.  It is an emotional headache.  One like you get after crying for too long at the loss of a loved one.  That is exactly how I feel right now.  I am emotionally drained.  I want to call my mom and sister and tell them how much I love them.  I have already hugged my girls with a strength similar to what I did on their first days of school.  The kind of hugs that you give as much for yourself as for the recipient.  The reason for my headache, my emotions, my hugs - What We Have by Amy Boesky.

From the inside book flap:

At thirty-two, Amy Boesky thought she had it all figured out:  a wonderful new man in her life, a great job, and the (nearly) perfect home.  For once, she was almost able to shake the terrible fear that had gripped her for as long as she could remember.  All of the women in her family had died before the age of forty-five - from cancer - and she and her sisters had grown up in time's shadow.  Urgency colored every choice they made and was amplified now that each of them approached thirty-five - the deadline their doctors prescribed for having preventive surgery with the hope that they could thwart their family's medical curse.  But Amy didn't want to dwell on fear now:  she wanted to spend time with her husband, plan for a new baby, live her life.  And that's just what she did.  In a way that only someone who is so acutely aware of passing time can, sh e chose to put her anxieties aside and relish life's simple pleasures.  In What We Have, Amy shares a deeply transformative year in her family's life and invites readers to join in their joy, laughter, and grief.  Unparalleled in its optimism and wisdom, What We Have celebrates the promise of a full life, even in the face of uncertainty.

The book began like many others, an author telling about her life, her family, her story.  From the beginning, however, her story resonated a bit more than others had with me.  She has a sister that reminds me of my own.  (In fact, my sister and I found out we were pregnant for the first time on the same weekend and had our children within about 1 week of each other.  We were fortunate not to have experienced the same outcome they had.) She grew up in Michigan, not unlike myself.  She vacationed in Charlevoix, barely a stone's throw from Traverse City - my favorite family vacation spot.  She spoke of places I knew, relationships that felt like my own.  She could be me.  Her family could be mine.  All of her joy and suffering could have just as easily been anyone else's to experience, including me.

While this book is not a light, easy, beach read, it is definitely worth reading.  I started the book on Saturday night and finished it this afternoon while my girls were resting.  Once started, it immediately pulled me in.  The familial relationships were familiar, relatable.  The way that Boesky brings her knowledge of literature, time and watches into the story makes it unique and educational.  The perspectives she shares and knowledge she imparts give you more to take away from the story than you would expect.  Reading this story made me want to take one of her classes (though I am in no way an English Literature buff).  As the story ended, I asked myself what I would do if given the option to know the future.  I wondered if I would want to know.  I thought about my own children and what lies ahead for them.  Is it better to know what is coming, to plan, to be prepared?  Or is it better to live in the present, enjoy the here and now, experience the joy of life without fear or anxiety?  Whereas before I read this book, I thought I knew the answers to those questions, I now realize that those questions, and the answers we give are actually quite complicated and multi-dimensional.

I have only one negative that I can share about this book.  Boesky will mention a family member early in the book, then bring the name up again later without a reminder explanation.  While that won't bother most people, I am not a name memorizer, especially when reading a book "for fun".  I would have loved if she'd had a glossary of names that I could refer to when reading.  Since she doesn't, I recommend that you pay better attention than I did when reading this book. 

Do I recommend this book?
Yes - This was a great book that almost demands a follow-up discussion.  I think it would make a perfect book for a book club.  Doc and I will be having a childless weekend soon while our kids vacation with my parents and I'm curious to hear his thoughts on the various topics brought up in this book.  I had previously discussed the idea of going back to school to become a genetic counselor with him and this will be a good starting point for deciding if that is something I'm still interested in pursuing. 

*Disclaimer:  I received a copy of the book for review purposes.  I did not receive any additional compensation in exchange for my review.  All opinions and experiences are my own.  Others may have different views.

Thankful Thursday - The Occasional Nap

I really wish I had a picture for you, but I'm not crazy!  There is no way I'm going into Pumpkin's room and risking waking her up, just so you can see how adorable she is when she naps.   Instead, you'll just have to close your eyes and imagine you're looking at your kiddos while they are sleeping (or if you're reading this late at night you can just go in and peek at them).   If your kids are older and no longer at home, you'll have to see how good your memory is.  If you don't yet have kids, just wait . . . I'm confident that you'll be smitten by their angelic sleeping faces with their cheeks all squished and their mouths hanging open.  Seriously, it doesn't sound attractive, but it might just be the most beautiful sight I've ever seen.

Pumpkin is 4, almost 5, and she rarely naps anymore.  I can tell when she really needs one though, and today was definitely one of those days.  After lunch, we crawled up to the top bunk and said prayers.  After prayers I rubbed her back for a bit while she relaxed and fell asleep.  Did I need to rub her back?  Nope!  She falls asleep just fine on her own.  Did I need to stay in her room and just watch her sleep for a while?  YES!  My babies are growing up fast and I want to cherish the memories of their napping faces, their spontaneous hugs, and their unadulterated joy.  I am thankful for all the little things that won't last forever, especially the occasional nap!

Wordless Wednesday - Why Bother Hanging a Hammock When You Have Kids?

Thankful Thursday - Simple Joys

My kiddos are still young and truly appreciate the simple things in life. . . from a sparkler on the 4th of July to the first snowfall.  Just this week when I was picking Pumpkin up from camp, she was just glowing.  She couldn't have been more proud of the pet rock she made and was carrying over to show off.   I am so thankful that they do appreciate the little things.  They can find joy in the most basic items, events, and occurrences.  Each day I am more amazed at what my children remind me of and teach me about.

Thankful Thursday - My Magnificent Husband

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have decided to dedicate Thursday on my blog as "Thankful Thursday".  Each Thursday I will write about something I am grateful for.  Whether it is large or small, expected or not, all Thursdays will give you a little look at who I am and the ways in which I am blessed.  I'm hoping that taking time out, at least once each week, to think about how lucky I am, will make me a more appreciative person in general.

I decided to begin my Thankful Thursdays by expressing my appreciation for the one person in my life that I most take for granted - Doc, my husband. 

1. Doc is an amazing father.  As much as I might complain about all the little things he does "wrong" (aka - not my way), there is so much that he does right.  He loves our girls with all his heart.  After a long day at work, no matter how tired he is, he will always take time out to play with them.  Whether the girls want to play Barbies, baseball, or tickle monster, he will be right there ready to join in.  In fact, just the other day Peanut wanted to have a water gun fight.  Even though it was a little cold out, and she is the only one with a big water gun, he went out and played.  He really made her day!
2. Doc is a thoughtful husband.  On days when I am absolutely exhausted, he notices and offers to pick up supper.  He (usually) listens when I talk and remembers the little things I mention in casual conversation.  He is most often the one that will suggest that we have a date night when life seems to get in the way of our relationship. 
3. Doc is funny.  I've noticed as the years have passed that I laugh at his jokes much less frequently.  With a bit of careful thought I've decided that I can't blame it on the fact that he's not as funny anymore since other people still laugh.  When I open my heart and mind to his humor, I am taken back to when we first met.  I am smitten with his smile and his quick wit. 
4. Doc has a strong work ethic.  He works hard at home.  He works hard at work.  He is willing to work for everything he has and everything he wants.  He is an amazing example for our children.
5. Doc has beautiful blue eyes.   When I look into his eyes I see our past, our present, and our future.  I can see his love for me and our children.   You often hear that "the eyes are the window to the soul".  When I look into his eyes, I know that is true!

In Bed By 8:00

According to our neighbors, Doc and I run a pretty tight ship.  As a general rule, the girls are on a pretty strict schedule.  They are in bed by 8:00 pm 95% of the time, whether it is a school night, weekend, or even the summer.  This past week has not been a typical week.  Between a trip to Cedar Point, Fireworks with the neighbors, a campfire and smores with friends, etc. we have been lucky to get the girls in bed by 10:00.   Last night we got the girls in bed by 8:00 again!   Ahhhh . . . I love the structure in our lives!

Happy Father's Day

Father's Day is a day to celebrate the great men in your life.  I am fortunate to have many great men to honor on this special day:

Dad - You are an amazing man.  You work hard, play hard, and love us with all your heart.  Over the years you've coached me in countless sports, taught me how to coach others, and showed me how to be a kind and generous person.  You've never met a stranger and generally believe in the good in others.  You have high expectations, but countless compliments when we accomplish the goals we set out to achieve.  Though we have argued over the years, I could not have asked for a better father.  I recently heard this song for the first time and immediately thought of you.  While all parts do not apply, you'll know immediately the parts that do.  Thank you for all you have done for me.  I love you!



Doc - You are an amazing father to our two beautiful little girls.  They look at you with love and admiration.  While they don't always appreciate all that you do for them, some day they will.  The time will come before too long when I expect  that I will lose some of my ability to talk to the girls without an argument.  I take solace in the fact that you will be there for them.  They will still be able to talk and laugh with you.  You will be my eyes and ears when I need them most.  The girls are very lucky to have you as a daddy!

Dad2 - In the father-in-law lottery, I think I won the jackpot.  You are easy to talk to and laugh with.  Your sense of humor makes any gathering more fun.  Your love for your family, while shown in different ways, is amazing.  While I love you like a Dad, I appreciate the fact that you seem to understand that I can't bring myself to call you that.  Thank you for all you do for us! 

Grandpa - A man of few words, a hug and the words "Hola Mija" can make my heart melt.  While you never have much to say, your presence alone tells me that you love me.  Thank you for being a part of some of the most important moments in my life.

Grandpa - It is hard to believe you have been gone now for ten years.  When I think of you I remember your sense of humor, your work ethic, your sweet laugh, and your penchant for falling asleep just about anywhere.  As a farmer, you worked long hard days, yet when you would come in you would always have a smile on your face (and often a box of crackerjack for me!).  You were proud of your children above all else.  The fact that I still miss you like crazy and am brokenhearted that my girls will never know you should tell you how important you were to me.

While this Father's Day post is a little late, I still felt it needed to be posted.  If you forgot your Dad or another important man in your life yesterday, please take a moment today to tell them how important they are to you.  Life is too short, and you never know what next year will bring.  To all father's out there - Happy Father's Day!

A lazy day

Yesterday, the sky was overcast and gray.  You could see that the rain was just waiting for the perfect moment to fall.  The lake was still.  It looked like you could put your ice skates on and glide across it with ease.   The girls and I waited all day for the guys to come and finish our kitchen.   I had waited to exercise, waited to shower, waited to run all our errands so that I would be available when they finally did show up - which they never did.  They were supposed to arrive at 8:30 am, but by 1:00 pm there was still no sign of them.  So, I put Peanut in her room and told her to rest quietly for 1/2 hour.  I put Pumpkin in her room and said prayers with her hoping for at least a short 45 minute nap.   It ended up being an amazing afternoon.  Pumpkin slept from 1 until 4 and woke up refreshed, renewed, and much happier than she'd been in weeks!  Peanut came out after 1/2 hour.   We sat in our favorite comfy chair and read a book together.  Then, we fell asleep while cuddling in that chair.  I slept for 20 minutes and she for about 45.   It was reminiscent of when the girls were just babies.   I remember holding them while they slept.  Knowing I should put them down in their cribs, but enjoying the sound of their breathing so much that I couldn't.   While the day was not what I had planned, it is a day that I will always cherish.